May Madness

What a month! OK, if I can keep it together this month and not unravel into a quivering heap of stress sitting on the couch eating cookie dough out of the tube, then I am pretty sure I can handle anything the future might bring. I had the Muck Run on the 11^th, then a birthday party, on top of three days of the kids’ theater production. And a big work project to tackle this month. Then a quick trip to Florida for a friend’s wedding the weekend of the 18^th. Then packing and preparing to move on the 31^st. Then the Mud Crusade on June 1.  Whew. I think I can do it. One day at a time. One item on the to-do list at a time. And boy, what a list it is. My newfound sense of discipline is an invaluable commodity during this craziness.

As I write this, I am sitting on the balcony of our condo overlooking the bay in Pensacola. Since it is the first bit of peace and quiet I’ve had in several weeks, it is a good time to catch up on my neglected blog. I am still thinking about my 30 day challenge and the lessons I learned during that time. I’m not too worried about backsliding into unhealthy habits during this little hedonistic excursion. I packed plenty of healthy snacks and protein powder, so I can avoid some pitfalls of road trips. Breakfast today was a Larabar and some protein powder in my coffee. I have carrots and almonds and protein bars in my bag for beach time later. If I am going to indulge, it will be something worth it, like pina coladas later. And only one or two, not five like I would usually do.

I have also discovered the most effective weight loss tool ever – bathing suit shopping. Good Lord, what an exercise in self loathing that was. Up until then, I was feeling pretty good about my body .The size 8s were fitting nicely, I was looking OK in a tank top and I thought I was ready for summer. Boy was I wrong. I have to applaud the bathing suit designers, I don’t know how they do it. I don’t know how they can transform a handful of innocuous fabric into a fat-flesh microscope that shows me every flaw, bulge and patch of cellulite on my body. And I have to give some credit to the dressing room mirrors and lighting that ensure no dimple or pudge has a place to hide.  If I had even thought about blowing my diet on the beach trip, that experience made sure it was no longer a consideration. All I have to do when tempted is to recall how the straps and ties somehow managed to squeeze the pale, doughy fat out of places that I didn’t know existed.  It was a discouraging experience, but I just have to keep my chin up, keep working and try harder. I guess I’m not quite to the bikini promised land just yet. Sigh.