Well, Crap. I managed to get through a wedding and a
beach trip with friends with willpower intact but then the stress shitstorm of
moving, work, kids and a million other annoyances descended and all discipline
went out the window. It took all my energy just to get through the days and
meet the demands of overwhelming obligations,
chores and to-do lists. Bit by bit, diet and exercise considerations just faded
into the background. As things got more hectic, I made more concessions to
convenience at the expense of health.
After two months of living in this chaos, the scales
are up a few pounds, my clothes are tight, my skin is a mess and I feel like
crap. I have no energy, I am cranky and tense all the time, PMS is back with a
vengeance and tension headaches are just a fact of daily life.
I feel like a character in a cartoon, with an angel
and a devil on each of my shoulders. The angel is saying “Put on your big girl Spartan
panties and get it together now. So you got off track. Just get back on it.” The
devil is saying “Give it up, you are over 40, what are you thinking? You will never
look like the chicks on the Spartan Race or Crossfit websites. Just be happy
with where you are now and save yourself the stress of adding another major
life change project when you are already juggling so much.” It really would be so easy to just give up
now and settle for where I am right now.
BUT – the inner voice just won’t be quiet. It
reminds me of how far I have come in the last year or so. I can do it. I have
done it. I just have to do it again. Better. Other women are doing it, so can
I.
The kids will be back in school next week. I am pretty
much unpacked and settled in at the new house. The insanely busy season at work
will be coming to an end soon.
As things begin to settle down a bit, I can re-focus
on making health a priority. I have purged all junk food from the house and
stocked the fridge with meat and veggies. I dusted off the blender so that I
can easily make smoothies if I am in a hurry. I organized my closet so that my workout clothes and
Spartan Race T-shirts are the first thing I see in the morning. And most
importantly, I gave myself the mental ass-kicking that I needed to get back on
track and stay there.
I am actually looking forward to the diet part of
the equation. There are several amazing farmers markets in my area with fresh,
local produce. One of my goals is to move to more local food consumption and to
get away from industrially produced foods as much as possible. I may not have
much of a garden at my house this year, but I will grow what I can and try to
find local sources for as many products as possible. I have seen the difference
that diet makes in my mood, energy level and overall well-being. It is the most
critical factor and I am ready to do what it takes to feel good again.
One slightly daunting aspect of this phase of my
fitness journey is workouts. For the first time ever, I am completely on my
own. No gym, no yoga classes. It is all up to me to do it using what I have at
home. The good news is that I do have quite a bit at home to work with. I have
mountains and trails. I have huge hills in my neighborhood. I have two kettlebells,
a jump rope and a pull-up station. I have a PVC pipe filled with metal bars and
sand – a cheap, homemade version of a weighted bar for doing presses and
weighted squats. I have an old army duffel bag filled with Ziploc bags
containing rubber mulch. Each bag is about five pounds, so I can adjust the
weight and use it for carrying up or lifting over my head. I have a nice
sloping driveway that is perfect for doing sprints – walk down and then run up
a few times. I have this stuff, now I just have to put it to use.
I have signed up for two obstacle races in the fall –
I am doing the Badass Dash again at the end of September and the Merrell Down
and Dirty 10K in October. That gives me something to look forward to. My goal
is to be ten pounds lighter by the Badass Dash and to be able to do a pullup by
then. That is a pretty ambitious goal and I’ve got a lot of work ahead to get
there. So I will just knock this devil
off of my shoulder and get to it. Again.
